Try an elder mediator for help with difficult family dynamics.
In working together to make sure the care needs of your aging parents are met, even the closest siblings can find themselves in dispute. Stress levels and emotions are, without a doubt, running high. Combine that with your past family dynamics and history, which tend to resurface during difficult times, and it’s not hard to see how difficult this stage in life can be for each of you.
The most common facets of controversy among siblings involve financial decisions, different opinions on medical treatments or living arrangements, and an unfair balance of tasks pertaining to caregiving, just to note a few.
In some cases, no matter how hard you try, you and your brothers and sisters are just not able to come to an understanding on precisely how to best care for your parents. An impasse like this is quite common, frequently resulting from complex family dynamics and unresolved disputes. However, there is a remedy many families are not aware of that may be exceedingly beneficial: bringing in an elder mediator.
A professional skilled in resolving conflicts, an elder mediator brings an independent, third-party voice to family discussions. They can help defuse elevated emotions and outbursts and steer the conversation in a way that produces an outcome that everyone can accept.
Elder mediator Susanne Terry explains, “Most of the time siblings want what’s best for the parents. They just look at it in a different way. Our goal is to help them figure out what their common interests are so they can work together to find solutions.”
Different from family therapy, which helps families work through problems slowly and gradually over a long period of time, elder mediation is a targeted, compacted technique that generally results in an agreeable result in only a couple of sessions.
Elder mediators give siblings the opportunity to both offer input and listen with respect to each other. The purpose is not only to identify the very best outcome for the elderly parents, but to help siblings maintain healthy relationships with one another in the process as well.
When researching elder mediation choices, there are several questions you should ask:
- Are you a member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM) or other professional associations?
- What amount of experience do you have in our particular situation?
- What is your education, training, and background?
- What are your fees?
To find an elder mediator in your area, check out APFM’s mediator directory.
